Introducing, Good Morning
Reflections on waking up and being human
“People don’t have ideas. Ideas have people.”
- Carl Jung
Early in 2024 an idea took hold of me. I wasn’t looking for trouble.
It showed up quite uninvited in the back of my mind and hovered there, waiting for me to take notice and investigate. It had many colors, and a well developed confidence and personality of its own. I was intrigued, and picked it up like a river stone, but it soon taught me that it was I who would be investigated by it, and not the other way around. This idea grabbed me and stripped me naked, it made me feel at once fascinated and excited, and horrified. I nearly wriggled my way out of its grip. A few times I successfully evaded it for a week or so at a time, but then while driving, or out on a walk - when my defenses were down and my mind was allowed to wander - it found me again, and each time nudged me with more force than the last. There was a part of me that hoped it might go away, or that it might settle for an existence as some kind of aspiration or what one might keep as a secret dream - some ideas are meek like that and don’t cause too much trouble - but this one became rather demanding in its insistence that it be allowed to come into the world and tormented me until it became clear that I now belonged to it. The shame I felt in allowing it to reveal me started to be eclipsed by the shame of letting this fledgling idea, this spark of light die out.
So I sat down at my desk, and began. Over the course of an afternoon a constellation emerged out of the background of unexplored and unnoticed pages. This idea, once I submitted to serve it, unfolded itself before me.
I am now going to introduce you to this idea: It’s name is Good Morning.
For some time now I've been pondering the profundity of the daily experience of waking up - that moment when your consciousness comes back online, and you find yourself back in this world, again. It's here that pain exists, but also here that joy exists. Us humans have been given this unique yet terrifying gift of waking up into the real world, into the limitation of it, but also the creativity of it. There's a great quote by Charles Bukowski that gets at it - "The gods wait to delight. In you."
For the past five years I have begun my mornings by journaling. In those early hours the “editor” in my brain isn’t quite awake, and so I’m unattended to discover and say what I really think. Good Morning is a collection of writing, which I will call poetry, collected from the pages of my mornings.
None of the words were written to be read, but rather written as a quiet acting out of a question - what does it mean to be here, to be human, to be me? They are words at times raw, often full of longing, frustration, and more evidence of hope than I would self-report at any given time.
As I read through years of mornings, and collected what the idea approved, it did not seem to me that the words were my own, but rather some ancient voice speaking to me from within the earth. I seemed to eat and digest the words in my belly rather than with my brain.
The idea is to give these words to you, dear reader. As for it’s many colors, my friend and artist Nikole Hester has been quietly producing a body of original artwork which will accompany these words, and be published together as a book of art and poetry. I imagine the book being something which isn't read linearly, but perused, flipped through, and pondered, words and art together, one at a time. For that reason I think of it as a coffee table book (but maybe there's a better word for it, as I don't particularly like that one).
It is our hope that it will be published by the end of this year. Until then, I’ve decided to start a series here on Substack sharing selections from the collection every Sunday and Wednesday morning, until the book is published.
Only Nikole and my mom have read the words so far. I would like to share my mom’s response after reading it, as it is my sincere hope that it will prove to be true:
“I predict that your heart-expressed in these poems will be an aid to correct the course of many and a balm to those who have lost their way.”
My hope is that it is relatable and exposes to the reader the deep and often unnoticed waters inside them. I say often unnoticed, because I believe each of us harbors parts of ourselves that we protect and sometimes ignore, because it's hard to look at. In that way, there's a lot in this body of work that I don't particularly want to look at, and I feel vulnerable at the idea of advertising it - but as ideas generally go, some speak loudly and demand a life, so I trudge on with this one faithfully.
I'm realizing now, I've been playing with this idea of "unnoticed waters" for a while. As I wrote here in Jan '23:
Some thoughts are like undercurrents. We feel their pull, and their power, and so we fear them, and don’t explore them, because we don’t want to drown. It takes tremendous energy to swim in those thought waters, so we opt to stay on the shore, as inarticulate and willfully blind as that may be. I want to be strong enough to swim, and curious enough to try. Maybe that’s a good definition for courage. Strength plus curiosity.
I want to follow my curiosity, and my hope is that my strength will grow. Strength to ask better questions, improve the quality of my thoughts, and know myself more fully.
I will now leave you with page one from the book - it’s introduction.
See you again on Wednesday.
With Love,
Matt
Waking up is a miracle.
It can be at once both a wondrous and miserable event.
In the morning hours our minds are pliable, vulnerable to hoping and to dreading.
Hopes and fears seem to cast about as shadows on the insides of our minds.
What is the light that casts them as shadows? We don’t know,
but there it is,
streaming into consciousness.
We are here now,
in this day,
and we get to ask the questions
and meet hopes
and fears
and bring it all to life.
Good morning.
Follow Nikoles work on Instagram
A note on Publishing: This is my first attempt to publish my writing in physical form. If any readers have experience or connections in the publishing industry, I’d be grateful for your tips and wisdom.
I can’t wait to have it on my coffee table!!
Grateful to be part of this adventure! I'm proud of you for clicking the send button! <3